Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
