RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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