I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize
