I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
