it's great music for shaving your balls
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
