the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Houston, we have a blender
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
