is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
