A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
