hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
