you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She told me I should be a condom model.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
