i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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