make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
