I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
