you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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