she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
