only if we run a train.
done.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
