the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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