There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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