Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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