I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
