I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
