your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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