And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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