is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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