I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
