Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize