ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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