and you said cock pushups were impossible
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
How does one acquire holy water?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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