Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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