I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
