the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i think i just lost a toe
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
