I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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