is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
