I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
