he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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