That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
