in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
