I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
