also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
