Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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