it wasn't lemon gatorade
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
