Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
