I wannas sexs uuuuu
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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