dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
