this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
