just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
