Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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