I'm lost and stupid without you.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
