You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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