Sponge bath it is.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
